I have been muting my feelings towards citizenship for fear of jinxing the application. Now that everything is done and dusted, a heavy weight seemed to have been lifted off my shoulders. It was not a comfortable feeling having one's future in the hands of somebody else. It took a whole year for for Citizenship and Immigration Canada to respond to my application asking for more documentation. Then another 15 months for me to be informed to prepare for the citizenship exam. All that time I had been wondering: Did they find something wrong? I knew I had nothing to hide but who knows...some bureaucratic technicality was always possible. I dreaded getting a brown envelope (most Canadian government correspondence come in brown envelopes!) with a letter saying something like... Dear Sir, Your application was rejected because our background check shows that you are in arrears for an overdue library book.
Anyway, all's well that ends well. I passed the exam and received the invitation to the Citizenship Ceremony. During registration, the immigration officer collected my Permanent Resident Card. You won't be needing this anymore. I still felt an automatic jolt of anxiety. All these years, I had kept that little card as if it were the Crown Jewels and now it was being taken away. I was not used to being somewhere without being required a visa!
I thought this ceremony would just be a boring formality. Just give me the certificate, will you? But, as I raised my right hand and enunciated the Oath of Citizenship...and later on, as I sang "O Canada", I felt something.... or some things.
First, a sense of immense gratitude. I had chosen to live in Canada. This day, Canada chose to accept me as one of its own. No more trying to prove that I belonged here.
Second, an internal transformation. Outwardly, nothing's going to change in my daily routine; but inside of me, there was a subtle change in attitude. I used to be a guest in this country. A guest may be welcome but his stay is at the pleasure of the host. This day, the host just told me, "You are a guest no longer. You are one of us now." Wow, what a feeling!
Third, a renewed resolve. This is my backyard now and I aim to take very good care of it.
So, I can't wait for the next elections or a call to jury duty (but ah... I won't say that one out loud too much... he! he!). Bring them on. Call me "citizen"!
